Answers from anyone would be awesome, but please mention if you're a professional or consider yourself an expert.
[–]houdas
IDDQD.
[–]MurderousKirk
The internet has a god mode cheat? And it's the same as DOOM? Who would have thought...
[–]dh42com
And this subreddit is dead...
[–]MurderousKirk[S]
Seems that way. Guess nobody likes to share experience in the competitive world of SEO. Unless they're making a buck or two that is.
[–]dh42com
What kind of SEO are you doing? What kind of site is it, I can share some of my thoughts since everyone here is a douche. I mainly work with e-commerce sites though, so a lot of what I have is only good in that area.
[–]guaka
My single best tip: There is no single best tip, trick or method and if there were it would stop working the next Google dance.
[–]inflagrante
I use the secret SEO unlock codes on 28% of pages in my site, whilst maintaining a keyword density of 83% on all pages (including contact forms). Pages all have exactly 423 words (plus unlock codes).
I consider myself the best emperor of search.
[–]deyterkourjerbs
I noticed from your other posts that you use the <H0> tag and z-index:941998 trick. But did you know that if you add googlerank: 1 to your robots.txt file that you end up on page 1 of Google? Normally you have to spend 6 figures a month on AdWords before a Google rep tells you this.
[–]koloniaCHAMP
hahaha - I lol'd :D
[–]inflagrante
as a google engage member, I was given access to the z-index trick after setting up only 250 pretend adwords accounts using voucher codes they sent to me so I could pretend to have something special that clients could easily get themselves anyway.
Only after you swear allegiance to adwords and take the oath of ppc are you allowed access to the scroll of search cheets, kept in the highest spire of mount googleplex.
Even then, you still need a Google+ account with at least 1 post a day for the last 6 months before Schmiddy lets you have a go at the opening the horcrux.
permalinkparentreportgive goldreply
[–]farting_flowers
What a fucking joke.
[–]Sir-Mocks-A-Lot
I have indisputable evidence that adding a picture of a black spider to your site will make it rank high in the SERPs. I call it black spider SEO, or B.S. SEO for short.
The B.S. SEO theory is that adding a picture of a black spider to your site will make your site rank high in the SERPs. Not many people know this, but the google bots take bribes. I've heard of people calling the google bots spiders, so I figured that a picture of a spider would please the bots.
Why a spider? Because the spiders see the picture of a spider and they think they are seeing themselves, and we all know how much google loves itself.
As evidence, I have made a blog post and a whole blog that rank in the #1 and #2 spots for the phrase "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious viagara money orders soonest" You can google it if you want.. go ahead, I'll wait for you.
Back? Good.
Now, you'll notice that the site dedicated to black spider (B.S.) SEO has some additional instructions. They're pretty important, so be sure to do what it says, else you could end up in "the sandbox". Then you'll have to find a nice picture of a sand castle and a plastic rake to get out, which can take a long time.
[–]MatthewCutts
Put a picture of a lemon on your homepage - exactly 300 pixels wide and 500 high. Alt tag should be "Kajagoogoo Rock The House".
[–]deyterkourjerbs
Actually, Matt Cutts' favourite vegetable is a carrot. So I always optimise webpages to have pics of them at 20% carrot image density. Any more about you risk carrot stuffing.
[–]MatthewCutts
Penganda Update 2.1.3.2.4 included allowance for 23% carrot imagery, and 21.5% lemon picture.
This leaves the golden percentage of 55.5% web page space for content, although, of course, 4.8% of that should always be the opening lyrics to "Too Shy":
"Hush, hush, shy, shy, eye to eye Hush, hush, shy, shy, hush, hush"
Can't believe we're just giving this stuff away here.
[–]DeanFace
Carrots!? Don't you mean waffles!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[–]TheWaffleBot 2 points 1 day ago
Waffles!? Don't you mean carrots!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[–]koloniaCHAMP 0 points 1 day ago
This thread... im crying to tears of laughter.. Thanks!
[–]MurderousKirk[S] 0 points 1 day ago
haha I know, can't beat Reddit's SEO advice.
[–]rcbb -2 points 1 day ago
This blog post is single handedly the best trick I've found.
[–]houdas
IDDQD.
[–]MurderousKirk
The internet has a god mode cheat? And it's the same as DOOM? Who would have thought...
[–]dh42com
And this subreddit is dead...
[–]MurderousKirk[S]
Seems that way. Guess nobody likes to share experience in the competitive world of SEO. Unless they're making a buck or two that is.
[–]dh42com
What kind of SEO are you doing? What kind of site is it, I can share some of my thoughts since everyone here is a douche. I mainly work with e-commerce sites though, so a lot of what I have is only good in that area.
[–]guaka
My single best tip: There is no single best tip, trick or method and if there were it would stop working the next Google dance.
[–]inflagrante
I use the secret SEO unlock codes on 28% of pages in my site, whilst maintaining a keyword density of 83% on all pages (including contact forms). Pages all have exactly 423 words (plus unlock codes).
I consider myself the best emperor of search.
[–]deyterkourjerbs
I noticed from your other posts that you use the <H0> tag and z-index:941998 trick. But did you know that if you add googlerank: 1 to your robots.txt file that you end up on page 1 of Google? Normally you have to spend 6 figures a month on AdWords before a Google rep tells you this.
[–]koloniaCHAMP
hahaha - I lol'd :D
[–]inflagrante
as a google engage member, I was given access to the z-index trick after setting up only 250 pretend adwords accounts using voucher codes they sent to me so I could pretend to have something special that clients could easily get themselves anyway.
Only after you swear allegiance to adwords and take the oath of ppc are you allowed access to the scroll of search cheets, kept in the highest spire of mount googleplex.
Even then, you still need a Google+ account with at least 1 post a day for the last 6 months before Schmiddy lets you have a go at the opening the horcrux.
permalinkparentreportgive goldreply
[–]farting_flowers
What a fucking joke.
[–]Sir-Mocks-A-Lot
I have indisputable evidence that adding a picture of a black spider to your site will make it rank high in the SERPs. I call it black spider SEO, or B.S. SEO for short.
The B.S. SEO theory is that adding a picture of a black spider to your site will make your site rank high in the SERPs. Not many people know this, but the google bots take bribes. I've heard of people calling the google bots spiders, so I figured that a picture of a spider would please the bots.
Why a spider? Because the spiders see the picture of a spider and they think they are seeing themselves, and we all know how much google loves itself.
As evidence, I have made a blog post and a whole blog that rank in the #1 and #2 spots for the phrase "supercalifragilisticexpialadocious viagara money orders soonest" You can google it if you want.. go ahead, I'll wait for you.
Back? Good.
Now, you'll notice that the site dedicated to black spider (B.S.) SEO has some additional instructions. They're pretty important, so be sure to do what it says, else you could end up in "the sandbox". Then you'll have to find a nice picture of a sand castle and a plastic rake to get out, which can take a long time.
[–]MatthewCutts
Put a picture of a lemon on your homepage - exactly 300 pixels wide and 500 high. Alt tag should be "Kajagoogoo Rock The House".
[–]deyterkourjerbs
Actually, Matt Cutts' favourite vegetable is a carrot. So I always optimise webpages to have pics of them at 20% carrot image density. Any more about you risk carrot stuffing.
[–]MatthewCutts
Penganda Update 2.1.3.2.4 included allowance for 23% carrot imagery, and 21.5% lemon picture.
This leaves the golden percentage of 55.5% web page space for content, although, of course, 4.8% of that should always be the opening lyrics to "Too Shy":
"Hush, hush, shy, shy, eye to eye Hush, hush, shy, shy, hush, hush"
Can't believe we're just giving this stuff away here.
[–]DeanFace
Carrots!? Don't you mean waffles!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[–]TheWaffleBot 2 points 1 day ago
Waffles!? Don't you mean carrots!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[–]koloniaCHAMP 0 points 1 day ago
This thread... im crying to tears of laughter.. Thanks!
[–]MurderousKirk[S] 0 points 1 day ago
haha I know, can't beat Reddit's SEO advice.
[–]rcbb -2 points 1 day ago
This blog post is single handedly the best trick I've found.
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